People are willing to do anything but give up on their programming, no matter what that costs them: their freedom, their happiness, the love of their life or even life itself. I’d rather die than give up on my old self, right? There is a lot that we demand from ourselves – for some it’s to be always cheerful, no matter HOW you feel, or always with a poker face on, no matter IF you feel. Or always strong even when you are crumbling apart inside. Or always helpful, even when you can hardly help yourself. It is something we learn and then hopefully unlearn, because it is slowly killing us. Not being ourselves is death.
“If you don’t like yourself, why don’t you guys break up?” – I wrote this some months ago on my Facebook wall. People thought I was joking, but I really meant it! Break up with your old self if the relationship is causing you pain. No, don’t try to fix it anymore, just let it go. I give the worst relationship advice – I always tell them to break up! Most of the times I’m right, though. People should break up. I don’t believe in lifelong relationships with the people who are not suited for us. If you want to fix it, actually fix it, don’t just stay there and complain about you two not getting along. Love them or leave them. Don’t try to change them – they will change if it is necessary for them. And this is also true for the relationship with yourself. Work on your own growth. Plant flowers in your own garden. Only with the seeds of those flowers that have reached maturity will you be able to plant somebody else’s garden, if they allow you to. And they also need to water those flowers themselves.
As egotistical as it might sound, stop helping people! Help yourself, you need help, all that help you give to others. Don’t get up on your mighty high white horse because you helped somebody. If you did it for the recognition, you haven’t helped in your own growth. Be thankful for the help you get and especially for the help you give. There aren’t many people you truly help. They might tell you that you helped, but if you are true to yourself, you are going to realize that you actually didn’t.
Get off your high horse, you are not a good person. You are not a bad person, either. You are a person, just as worthy of love as the rest of us. Just as special. Just as common. Let me break this positive special pink bubble here. I strongly believe that we are one. That makes you as important as the next piece of dust next to you. It also makes you as important as the Dalai Lama, Trump or whoever else you fancy. Not in need of a cynical pill today? I’m not being cynical. What I wrote above is what gave me the most hope, the most power, what made me feel the most alive, happiest and loved in my entire life. It translates into not needing to fill shoes that are bigger that I feel like filling today. It also made me trust myself and my power to overcome (almost) anything. It took me down from the pedestal where some were placing me and realizing it is so difficult to live up there. It is a huge burden and I don’t want to carry it anymore. I enjoy being common, it’s such a relief. And since I allowed myself to be an insignificant piece of dust, I was able to feel the connection to the other pieces of dust around me. And I could choose the days when I want to feel special. Give up on the burden of feeling special, of feeling unique. Only then will you find out that you truly are special and not in that forced fake millennial league imposed style. You will feel this with the power of 1000 suns. You will no longer carry the weight of the generations behind you, you will no longer be responsible for making others happy, you will no longer need to do/ make/ achieve/ strive/ perfect/ save/ manipulate/ lie/ fake. You’ll be happy in your underwear, looking out the window on a cloudy day. You will find out that all you need to do… is BE.