You know those people who win the big jackpot in the lottery? Most often than not they are poor people, who have a difficult relation with money or just don’t know how to make financial abundance happen. And did you notice that in most cases in about 2 years’ time they lose all the money they won?
But that is not only true about sudden money gains… the same happens in relationships. Sometimes we win the relationship jackpot. We meet somebody who is the one. They are more amazing than anything we’ve ever had. And we lose them. I’m not trying to say they’re better than others, just that they are better for us. If we let them, they could even make us happy, and that is the real jackpot. And then… we lose them. We fail to notice their amazing role in our lives, their qualities that match our faults or complement our qualities and sometimes even fail to realize that we love them more than we’ve ever loved anybody else. So we let them go. Sometimes ever cheerfully, with no remorse and no acknowledgement of what they really were.
Because we have no idea how to make love abundance happen, even if we have it right next to us, we not only manage to lose it, but do everything in our power to do that. Just like those people who win the lottery. Many times, we don’t even realize they the ones better suited for us. We might not even realize it our entire life and carry this burden with an interface of denial for life.
However, the subconscious knows. It always know. Whatever you try to deny from your surface self or in front of others is useless – the subconscious KNOWS! In the best cases, what you buried is strong enough to break down the walls that you buried it behind. It is a painful process when you realize what you actually lost, but is the only way you can open the doors and let fresh air in. Don’t be afraid of the pain. It is there anyway, you are just trying to mute it down, ruining your life in the meantime. Not acknowledging your pain is not acknowledging yourself. And that means not accepting and not loving yourself. So you go into addiction: drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, food, sex, toxic relationships. Whatever you can’t quit is an addiction, not just the classics listed above. But that is the subject of a different article.
Don’t live your life in denial. Denial is not your friend. It is your ego’s friend. Fake happiness is not your friend. Real pain is much more your friend than anything else you might fake. It is expected to be in denial for a while and silence your pain for a while. Your ego just summons your survival instinct to come and keep yourself alive. Sometimes even literally, to keep you from killing yourself. So, for a while, ego is your friend and your bodyguard. But only for a while. Then it gets seriously destructive. It doesn’t let the pain in and therefore it doesn’t let the healing in. And you’ll carry it with you for as long as you don’t want to look at your real feelings, dark as they might be. Also, your bodyguard ego doesn’t let the important things in: love, connection, happiness. Your protector becomes your prison guardian and you don’t even realize it, because it has very subtle ways of working, so you don’t catch on and try to fire it from its job.
So let yourself feel the pain. Let it run through you and purge whatever needs to be burned. Open the doors and let the sunshine in. Otherwise you have just trapped yourself behind them as well, not just whatever you don’t want to feel. Acknowledge what you lost. Lick your wounds, cry and bleed and let your wound in the sunshine to be healed. It is your only way out. Don’t be afraid. Just walk the path!