Someday all women will have orgasms provoked by men, just like these days all people have smartphones, and we can all get on with our lives and stop talking about this.

But until then, it falls to us women to get over the shame and stigma of admitting to our own sexual needs and telling men exactly what it is that brings us pleasure, so they can deliver it and we can enjoy those intense and magical moments together.

Especially since — you’ve been lied to! Making her climax is not that hard! It’s just different.

That’s what this article is about. I’ve been a love and relationship coach for the past 6 years, I’ve had plenty of women friends, and of course, I’m a woman myself, so I know a thing or two about what makes our bodies tick. 

If you’re interested in the secret (but utterly uncomplicated) world of the female orgasm, read on.

🎈Also make sure you get a FREE copy of my Seduction Decoded e-book!🎈

Let’s dive right in!

1. It’s not how much you last.

One of the biggest concerns that sex therapists hear on an ongoing basis is men’s constant anxiety that they don’t last long enough in bed.

And I’m here to tell you that the problem is totally irrelevant, considering that women’s orgasm has little to do with how long you last and more to do with what you do beforehand.

However, this misconception is based on some truth. That being that it can take a man as little as 5 to 7 minutes to orgasm, but it takes a woman an average of 14 minutes. That’s if she’s reaching that orgasm during intercourse with a partner. If she’s masturbating, it’s an average of 8 minutes.

Now isn’t that sad?

You’d just think nature had a lot of fun with the human race and put together the males and females from 2 different species.

Because even if a man lasts for 2 hours, if he doesn’t know what he’s doing, it doesn’t really matter how long he pedals, he’s still not going to reach Orgasmland, where women are happy and satisfied.

As studies have shown over and over again, only a small percentage of women orgasm from penetration alone, no matter how long it is. This misunderstanding is what’s responsible for the infamous orgasm gap between the sexes.

So if that’s the case, what’s the reason to keep pumping until you’re both blue in the face, hoping she will eventually get there when science proved time and time again she just won’t, just like you won’t reach orgasm if she keeps rubbing your arm?

I hope that’s great news for the (especially younger) men who are suffering because they climax too fast.

While premature ejaculation is still a problem, the fact that you don’t last for hours is not.

Trust me, women don’t want you to last for hours.

I heard 0 women exclaim in awe: ‘Omg, he was amazing, he lasted for hours.’ Quite the contrary: I heard women say ‘he kept going and going, I was getting sore, I just wished it was over already.’

An endless in-and-out motion hoping that your partner will climax is like a long boring movie that everyone hopes would end already so they can go get some sleep.

Vaginas Are Not That Complicated, You’re Just That Lazy

2. It’s not how big you are.

If I hear one more man obsessed with how big his thing is, I’m gonna lose it. 

Guys, would you relax, it’s really not that important! To tell you the truth, it’s not important at all, there, I said it.

And what’s worse, this obsession has permeated into all levels of society, and one of the common themes when talking about sex is always how big he is.

And that’s just sad because it’s a value pushed forward by social constructs that emphasize and over-inflate all the symbols of masculinity.

The ideal man is presented as having muscles big enough to break a tree in half, a jawline so sharp that it could cut glass, a demeanor so cold and aggressive that it would put Thanos to shame, and a penis so humongous that he can hardly carry it around.

You think I’m joking? Here are some real-life examples.

When I used to work as a cam girl trainer, I could see all conversations between the clients and the cam girls and the amount of value men assign to their organ borders on pathology.

For example, a massive amount of nicknames that the men chose for their online persona had something to do with their size, such as ‘biggusdikkus’, ‘11inches’, ‘imbig’, ‘hungdaddy’, etc. And it didn’t stop at the nicknames, oh no.

The men would constantly tell the girls how big their penis is, as a method to impress them.

Of course, the ladies were utterly unimpressed, first because why would they even care? They were there doing a job for money, not for words, and then they knew these guys were lying.

It was completely impossible for that many men to be that hung. When you hear about how big it is at least 7 times a day, you just know they’re making it up.

But what’s more, it didn’t stop there either. The men would send these ladies photos of their genitals, making sure to make it look big, putting it right in front of the camera, getting the right angle, squeezing it just to make it more engorged, etc.

The pics were also used as a method to impress the girls with their size.

Yes, even if these women were sex workers and were there doing a job (a virtual job!), what got the client going was the thrill of impressing the girl with his qualities and having her surrender to him because of how amazing he was, rather than engage in sexual activity with him just because he pays for it.

And in his eyes, the size of his penis was one of the main components that would impress a woman. For the woman, however, it was boring at best.

Now I’m not saying it’s completely useless. Not at all. A big penis does have some value because, at first glance, sheer size can be impressive to see.

But how many times do you see it for the first time? That’s right, only once. And after that, its value decreases faster than a new car taken out of the parking lot.

The 5 Big Assets Men Think Women Want Vs. Reality

What’s more, outside the looks factor, it doesn’t do much to ensure female orgasm. So it’s usually nothing more than a useless decorative thing that’s too big to put anywhere.

Men wouldn’t hear of it, though, no matter how many times women stated otherwise.

And sadly, when sex toys first became a thing, men would buy dildos for their partners and they would always choose the biggest size they could find, usually much bigger than their own personal dildo, because the common misconception was that women need huge sizes to be impressed.

As it turns out, the only ones truly impressed by huge sizes were other men, because the moment the stigma related to buying sex toys wore off, women proved again that they preferred dildos much smaller than what the men would buy. 

They usually went for the medium size, can you believe it? if you’re a woman, you can. You already knew that.

And once vibrating clitoral sex toys came on the market, women massively shifted towards them and the dildo sales for private use took a massive downturn.

And although it seems hopeless for men, it’s actually a blessing, because you now have more chances (and tools) than ever to make your partner orgasm.

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