This is what charismatic people do.

We live in a society obsessed with popularity and public opinion. And we all enjoy being liked. 

The good thing is that it’s in our absolute power to make it happen, with a simple approach that charismatic people have been using right under our noses since forever. 

The bad thing is that most of us have no idea that we have that power. 

I know I didn’t for a long time, but when I became a love and relationships coach, it was one of the very first things I learned: how to make people like me. Or even love me.

Once I found out, I regretted not doing it sooner. Because it’s life-changing and can be done by anyone.

This is the one trick I use to make people like me and it works every time. The only caveat is: that it’s not a trick. It’s a lifestyle. 

My approach is to just let people be themselves.

I’ll be the first one to admit that in the beginning it’s easier said than done, because this is how most of us feel: when we like somebody, we are craving to have that feeling reciprocated. And when somebody is pushing our buttons, all we want is to be as far away from them as possible.

But if we want to get the desired outcome, we need to put our feelings aside for a bit and just push through.

There are 3 methods you can use to be successful at letting people be:

1. Just listen and smile

I remember a former colleague of mine that I wish would have been transferred to another plant, or even another city, if possible. Any more places on Elon’s rocket ship to Mars? That would have been even better!

I’ll just call him Joe. 

Joe was always running with the cool kids, pretending to be funny — the classic class clown without the talent. 

He made the silliest jokes, couldn’t keep his mouth shut for a second, was laughing at the most inappropriate moments, and doing the absolute best he could to make everybody look at him.

He thrived on negative attention more than anyone I’ve ever known.

Nobody liked him, but people were doing their best to tolerate him. I, however, wasn’t even trying. I had no problem showing him that I don’t like him one little bit and he should eff off.

Well, I was young and naïve…

Because the more I disliked him, the more he wanted to be around me and get a reaction from me.

Until one day I finally caught on. He loved the thrill of my reaction. So what if I get smart about it and not give him any?

That’s just what I did: I switched my negative reactions to no reactions at all. 

So whenever Joe would come over with one of his offensive jokes, or try to make a fool of himself and me, I would just listen to him, smile at his antics, and answer in understanding and comforting uh-huhs, like a mother with a rumbustious kid, completely unphased by his attitude.

It took a couple of months, but I could see a gradual improvement in Joe’s behavior towards me. 

Initially he started to treat me like any other colleague and after a while, he even began to keep my side in little office disputes, and bring me candy that he stole from the reception jar. 

Bingo!

2. Don’t impose your values on them

There is nothing more annoying to us all than people who try to change us. 

Those who think they know better. When the truth is we know better than anybody else and could give them a lesson!

Or could we?

The truth is we all have different, and sometimes opposing values. Some of us are liberals, some of us are democrats. Some are vegans, some are carnivores. And we all think we know better than the others and our way is the way to be.

That’s why we either get into endless disputes about how stupid Trump is, or how ridiculous vegans are, because we all feel like we have the key to the right way to live.

This is a surefire way to drive a wedge between you and anybody else in this world: showing them that they’re wrong and you’re right.

I’ve done it so many times I’m ashamed of myself.

A lot of people also do it in dating, thus making sure that the person they want close runs away the moment they see their face.

‘You know what you should do, Johnny? You should change your life, stop chasing all these one night stands, and settle down with a good woman like me.’

Why, Mary? Why should he do that? Just because you want it? What about what he wants? It’s a sure way to drive him even further away from you.

If you’re dating someone who has different values than your own, you’re better off without them. Otherwise, you’ll be spending your life unhappy and trying to change them into who you want them to be.

That always fails, especially since people hate those who try to change them and love the ones who accept them for who they are.

3. Put yourself in their shoes

Try being them for just a few minutes. Do it for real. Do it to see what it really feels like to be them. You’ll see your whole perspective on them and their attitude towards you drastically change. 

When I was working in a corporation hating my life, my job, and my stupid boss Cliff, like most of us do, one day I had an epiphany.

My boss was not mean, but he had no initiative, no leadership, and he had a huge fear of conflict. I struggled to see him as a boss and he struggled to manage me as a subordinate.

Until this one day. He came into the office obviously distraught. I asked what was going on and he said his father had just passed that morning, but he’s not going to the funeral.

He was distraught, but not like somebody whose father passed away, but like someone who was reminded of something awful.

I was in shock.

Upon further investigation from me, Cliff told me the man who died was his biological father, but he had no other feelings than hatred and disgust for him.

His father was an abuser who would beat up the whole family: Cliff, his sister, and their mother had to hide in holes that they dug for themselves in the garden whenever monster dad came back from the pub dead-drunk. 

Which was at least twice a week.

When he found them he would beat them up with the electrical cables or his belt, whatever he could reach faster.

One day, when Cliff was old enough to do something about it, he took a shovel and hit his father over the head. When the man came to his senses, he left the family forever.

There was a new man in the house. Cliff never saw him again, but the memory of the abuse he endured stayed with him forever.

That story broke me.

At that moment I understood my boss’s lack of initiative, leadership, and especially fear of conflict. And in that very instant, my whole view of him changed. 

And he knew it too. Somehow, he felt it. 

It wasn’t a conscious perception, but his attitude towards me changed that very moment when I chose to put myself in his shoes. 

It was an absolutely magical moment that I’ll always remember.

That day we became friends and although I left that job a long time ago, Cliff and I stayed close to this day.

Without a doubt, the absolute easiest way to make someone like you, accept you, and understand you is to just let them be who they are. And see if you like them enough to be around. 

You don’t need fancy charisma techniques.

Just put yourself in their shoes. And people will be flocking to you like moths to a flame. 

🎈 I’ve been a love and relationship coach for 6 years and cam girl trainer for 3. If you’re interested in seduction techniques or a fulfilled love life, get your FREE copy of my Seduction Decoded E-book here or contact me to decode your own love life together! 🎈