This is going to be pragmatic, therefore successful.
Are you single because you don’t need anyone to ruin your life because you can do that on your own? In that case, hats off to you and your courage, but this article is not for you, my friend.
Or are you single because no matter how hard you tried you just couldn’t find the right person, but your heart is pining for love and your bed is as lonely as a supermarket at night?
If it’s the second one, please read on, we need to fix this right now!
🎈 And make sure you get a FREE copy of my Seduction Decoded e-book, it will help!🎈
Here are 5 ways to do that. They might seem boring, they might seem obsolete, or you might have heard them all before, but I promise you they are tried and true and will solve your problem.
1. Start going out NOW!
I know you’ve been waiting and hoping, and still, nothing happened! Love is not knocking on your door at 4 AM to take you in her soft arms, is it? Nope, it never did and it never will.
That’s why you need to pull yourself together, put some decent clothes on, and get out the door. I promise you it will be worth it.
You’re probably thinking (just like I was thinking at some point) that there are no decent places to go and meet somebody.
And no, I don’t want to suggest going out to bars. I really think it’s a bad idea to meet someone in bars and clubs, especially if you want it to be something serious.
If you want it to be a one-night stand, that’s the best place, though, so go right ahead, I won’t judge you for it.
However, here are a few other places where you can meet decent people: the supermarket, the gym, at work, or as part of any organized physical activity, like the kayak club, hiking, walking through the park, etc.
There are people everywhere and the best way to meet them is to go where they’re at.
The only thing is nobody is going to fall on your lap. Even when you want them to, they won’t.
If you’re a man who wants to date a woman, you will need to make the first move. I’m sorry, I know this is the modern world, where women will have to learn to make the first move, and you have great chances of getting turned down, and that will hurt.
I know, rejection hurts.
But putting yourself out there is the key to getting anything you ever wanted, whether we’re talking about a job (you need to go to the interview, right?), a promotion (you need to ask for it, right?), a wife (you need to propose, right?), etc.
That’s life. It sucks sometimes, but we have the power to make it less sucky by doing the right (and usually hard) things.
If you’re a woman looking for a man, it’s time to step off that throne, princess, and let him know you like him. Maybe even ask him out.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I said the same thing to the men just one paragraph above, but that’s just because I want everybody to approach rather than just wait there hoping the other will make the right move.
That doesn’t mean you should chase him! For the love of god, do not chase a man under any circumstances! But letting him know you like him opens the door to you actually having a 2-sided relationship rather than a chaser and prey type of thing, which is quite a toxic dynamic.
2. You give up too soon.
You try and you try and you try and it’s to no avail, you just can’t find the right one. So you eventually decide to give up altogether — what’s the point anyway? There’s nobody right for you anywhere. Is it even worth the hassle?
Well, the answer is up to you: it’s worth it if you want to be in a relationship and possibly eventually get married. If you really don’t want it, then no, it’s really not worth it.
If you don’t see a lot of benefit from sharing your life with somebody, then it really is useless and you shouldn’t put yourself through this. Dating is hard!
But if you want to be coupled, if you want to be in a relationship, and if you want to eventually get married, then you better hang in there. You will find someone, just don’t give up on it before you do.
Giving up happens a lot, in all areas of life. And it’s the main component why you are not rich yet too. Well, that and not being born into a rich family, but we’ll let the second one slide.
3. You have a romantic view of dating.
This is a big one. But damn you Hollywood, romantic books, and all the bad they’ve done to the world of dating and our expectations from the poor people who are going to be our partners.
I’m sorry to say that dating and a healthy love life are not at all as it’s presented in movies or love-oriented literature.
And that’s a problem for a lot of us who have this pink glitter-sprinkled strawberry-scented view of how it could be and how it would be so wonderful to wake up in the morning in your lover’s arms after he swooped you off your feet the day before and made all your wishes come true.
Unfortunately, that hardly ever happens.
Love and being in love is beautiful, but many times it doesn’t lead to relationships (and/ or marriage). Not to healthy ones, anyway.
We have the bad habit of falling in love with people who are no good for us, who treat us poorly, are toxic, or just don’t love us back.
Or people who love us immensely, but they just don’t know how to show it, or they’re just so different from us that living with them is pure hell.
That’s the romantic view of love that many of us harbor and which makes us completely unhappy because most times it has no basis in real life.
4. You’re still in contact with your ex.
Enough with the exes already, ok? Nothing good can come from keeping contact with an ex.
I will make an exception to this if you’ve got children together, and then it’s absolutely necessary to keep him or her in your life, but if you can avoid it, it’s best to avoid it.
Even if your ex is not toxic, even if you ended things smoothly or you just completely got over him/ her, it’s very unhealthy to keep in your life somebody you used to have a sexual and emotional relationship with.
Whether you know it or not, a friendship with an ex fills a place that would otherwise be destined for a new love.
Potential new partners will keep away and for good reason. A part of you is still invested in the ex you insist on keeping around. The channels that were once open between you two are not so easy to close as you think, even if you feel nothing more towards that person.
You probably noticed that many times new partners are jealous of old ones, and it’s not (just) because they’re insecure. It’s always because the possibility to re-open something with an ex is always present.
Keep yourself and your new relationship safe — purge your life from past love.
5. You’ve got an addiction and others can tell.
Addiction ruins a lot of things, from health to careers to love lives. Even a potential love life will be ruined by a present addiction.
Addiction is the kind of thing you imagine you’re doing in private, but it’s visible in public.
Everybody can tell whether you’re unaware you’re an addict or refuse to admit you are one.
‘No, I’m not an alcoholic, I just like to drink.’
Yeah, right. If you ‘like to drink’ every other day, for example, you’re already an alcoholic and everybody knows it but you. And they keep away because everybody knows the kind of havoc dependence can wreak on someone’s life.
Addiction is life-consuming and you put all your energy into it like it’s your lifeline. There will be no more energy left to give to a serious relationship or a serious job or career.
And it’s nothing you can only do in private: its effects will be visible on your face, in your smell, demeanor, and the way you carry yourself.
They know, they all know. Treat your addiction to have a good life.
If you’re single but you ignore people like you’re taken, please cut that out and give somebody a chance to love you.
🎈 If you enjoy this spicy tea, join my Substack for more! 🎈