Other women are your support system, not your enemy.
If another woman can steal your husband, it’s not her fault, it’s your man’s fault! Learn to place the blame where it’s at instead of competing against your own well-being and siding with the enemy.
Research from 2021 suggests that women have been conditioned to compete for past limited resources, such as food, shelter, and mates, which will contribute to instances of undermining each other’s success and being jealous of another woman’s achievements.
And although the limited food, shelter, or men who would provide them was limited at some point, just look around you now. The supermarkets are full of food, shelter can be paid for with money women are now allowed to earn, and mates… well, dating apps are 80% men.
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Or just do it the old-fashioned way: go for a walk in a pair of yoga pants.
Like I did. Sunday was a walk day. What’s a walk day? Get a friend and walk all day long.
We put on similarly comfy outfits: trainers, yoga pants, loose T-shirts, and sunglasses and we spent the entire day walking around town, drinking lemonade enriched with magnesium, and talking.
The weather was divine: that perfect temperature and orange sun that September brings over to show all the other seasons that they’re overrated.
The whole day was a prolonged golden hour and we felt like wild children of the forest, walking around, having fun, and eating the grapes and figs we could reach over people’s fences.
It was beautiful and so were we, soaking in the glory of the sun and our own life, without a care in the world, until…
…until a woman almost ran us over (presumably) because of our happiness and… yoga pants? I’m just guessing here. I’m not sure what it was, but it’s happened before, so it’s not an entirely wild guess.
I didn’t even see her, because I was talking and laughing, but my friend did, because this other angry woman coming towards us with a mean and vile look in her eyes, directed at us, almost stepped over her. My friend had to make a quick jump to the side, so she wouldn’t get bumped into.
The woman turned around and gave us an earful. Is this any way to be walking down the street? What was wrong with us? Who wears yoga pants outside of a gym? You could totally see every shape through those pants! And through your T-shirt! That’s completely inappropriate!
About one minute in, I turned and walked away, pulling my friend with me. I wasn’t going to be the recipient of hatred, envy, and internalized misogyny.
How do you manage to step into pure hate when you just see someone walking down the street? Easily. You think you have something to lose. You’re afraid, so you strike before she strikes.
Toxic competition between women is a well-known thing and a lot of women fall into the trap of uncontainable envy.
Don’t get me wrong, men are envious too, but they show it in different, more subtle ways. In other words, they hide it better.
A 2020 meta-analysis found that men feel envy at the sight of their competitors’ dominance, whereas women experience jealousy when their female rivals possess greater attractiveness.
But there’s more to it than that.
For example: you know how a man won’t admit that another man is good-looking, pretending to be incapable of noticing such a thing? One of the socially acceptable reasons is that it would make him look gay, which is absolutely ridiculous, but another one is envy. When a woman admires John’s looks or accomplishments in front of Jack, Jack feels inferior and insecure. Even when the woman is not involved with any of the men in question. Most often Jack will go silent, pout, and be cold for days.
However, when a woman is envious, it’s a whole different can of worms. Nasty, ugly, disgusting worms. She will show it. She will point. She will give you the evil eye. She will make mean comments and look at you with disgust.
She will gossip, be negative, sabotage, gaslight, be nosy, boast, mimic, downplay your success, or discredit you in front of others.
And none of these attitudes will help her in her misdirected quest.
If a woman is concerned about her attractiveness and power of seduction, envy is the worst way she can go about it.
Here’s why:
- One of the main components of attraction is physical and anybody can be hot if they make an effort. Some well-fitting clothes, a bit of make-up, and a smiley face go a long way. If all else fails, try cleavage, and bam, all eyes on you. Or, maybe yoga pants?
- Seduction is not about how big or small some body parts are. Seduction is an inside job that is mostly about confidence and how good you feel about yourself that very moment. And envy is the exact opposite of confidence.
- If it’s men you want, the best way to get them is to have your own fulfilled life and let them come to you. Envy is based on fear and fear is highly unattractive.
- Women have been conditioned to be in constant competition with each other. It used to be over men, the providers, but in recent years it’s been expanding to other areas of life. Whatever the subject that you feel insufficient about, your best bet is collaboration, not competition.
- Women will be other women’s best support system. Do not ruin that with petty and misdirected envy and blame. It won’t be worth it. Women are not your enemy. They can’t steal your man unless he’s willing to be stolen. In which case, good thing they took him!
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